February 28 - A word of warning

The following rant is rated “M” for mature.  It contains extreme anger, bitter disappointment, and accusations of unbelievable incompetence. 

This morning we said goodbye to our friends John and Ellen and proceed to the cruise line terminal in White Bay. The Kellys are very special people and we always enjoy their company.  Before they left, we talked about getting Joan, Ken, Sue and Dave together again for another cruise. Hopefully we can put this together.

There are no words in the Thesaurus to adequately described how I feel about Oceania Cruise Lines, especially the Oceania Regatta. Without a doubt this is the most poorly run, non-service-oriented ship I have ever been on.

It started several months ago when Oceania changed the itinerary. Instead of docking in Brisbane, they said the port was closed on the day the Regatta was due to arrive. This was disappointing because it was a port of call where we could have gone to see the Steve Irwin Croc Zoo. A couple of weeks later I went to the Brisbane port website and discovered that there were two large cruise ships in port on that day. I wrote it off as poor communication as there must have been some other dock they were talking about. Now I’m not so sure.

Today we embarked on to the Oceania Regatta for our South Pacific Cruise. Without a doubt this was the most poorly organized and chaotic boarding process I have ever encountered.

To begin with the boat arrived two hours late. I’ll cut them some slack because the ocean is not 100% predictable and delays will happen.

A couple of weeks ago, we received an email from Oceania stating that all Covid restrictions had been lifted in Sydney and we did not need a rapid antigen test. When we arrived at port terminal the Australian authorities told us we needed a negative RAT test before we could board.  Why and who in Oceania mislead us?  Wouldn’t you think that before releasing this email they would have double checked with the Australian authorities.

We could get a RAT at terminal for $100. Now this out and out robbery. In Canada and the USA this test is free, and I noticed in a couple of pharmacies in Sydney that they were only charging $15. The question I would like answered is “who is benefitting from this scam and why does Oceania condone this by issuing misleading communications.” Luckily for us and the group we are travelling with, we had brought test kits from home.

After being admitted to the cruise terminal, we milled around for about an hour, when our friend Trudy told us we needed to prove to Oceania that we had a negative test result. Then they would issue us a red wrist band, so that we could proceed to board.  Why was there no public announcement?  Who in Oceania determined that word of mouth was the best way to tell their passengers?

After two years of living with Covid, you would think that Oceania would know how to accurately communicate the public health requirements for boarding and not have such an incompetent and frustrating boarding process.

 It was total chaos to get our room/boarding pass.  With most cruises I’ve been on, you are seated in a waiting room, and called to the registration desks by your suite number.  Not with Oceania.  After clearing the top end suites, it was every man for themselves. So instead of relaxing in the waiting area, you were forced to stand in a snaking line for 30 minutes or more to get booked in.

After we finally got boarded, we decided to upgrade our drink package so that we could enjoy the cocktail of the day and the better wines.  I went down to reception desk and stood in line for twenty minutes.  You would think that on the first day of the cruise when most of the upgrades will take place and that problems with accounts that need to be corrected by staff are identified, that Oceania would fully staff the reception desk.  But not Oceania. They only had two staff at the reception desk.

Getting the drink package upgraded required us to get new room/boarding passes.  I got back to our room and guess what?  That’s right, the keys no longer worked.  So, I had to go back to the reception desk and wait in line again to get keys that work.  Total and absolute incompetence.

Our Internet account was screwed up and we could not get online.  We had to wait two hours for IT support.  Again, service was available only on their schedule and was improperly staffed for the number for customers that were there to fix problems on the busiest day of the cruise. I was finally able to fix the problem by myself and get logged in.

The internet is so slow it is painful.  It is 0.3 Mb/s for uploads which means opening emails can take over a minute and updating this blog is sleep inducing.

Our first nights experience in the dining room was an aggravating disaster.  There were ten of us at the table.  The service, although polite, was beyond slow.  It took more than two hours to serve a three-course meal. Olive was not able to order dessert because they were closing the dining room and didn’t seem to think it was the proper thing to do and allow her to order a dessert.

The wine steward was not very prompt.  For most of us at the table he only came by twice to fill our glasses, despite our cards which gave us unlimited pours.

The maître de seem to imply that we were the problem.  He told me that we needed tell the staff whether we wanted quick or relaxed service at the beginning of the meal.  Really?  I’ve never encountered this at any restaurant.  What a load of crap!

Gluten free options on board are very limited. This affects Marg and Trudy, and it is not really what we expected from a company that prides itself on its dining.  Celebrity Cruise Line is miles ahead in their treatment of this type of request. At their buffet, there is an entire selection of gluten free dishes available.

The buffet restaurant closes at 2:00 in the afternoon.  We never seen this type of restaurant close that early for lunch. Usually, they stay open for customers until an hour or so before they need to ready themselves for dinner.

On the second day of the cruise, we got back from our excursion to late to use the buffet for lunch So, we went to the outdoor grill instead. It took thirty minutes to get two over cooked dried up hotdogs on stale buns and a hamburger on a gluten free bun. I had to repeat the order three times before the waiter taking the orders got it right. Would it hurt Oceania to hire people with at least a small understanding of the English language.

In all the ship cabins we have stayed in, an airline accepted suitcase fits comfortable underneath the bed.  This allows you some extra space in what generally are very cramped quarters. With Oceania, not a chance. So, because of their low bedframes we end up losing precious closet space in order to store empty suitcases.

The final kick in the pants happened on the way down to the dinning room from the scenic lounge. The elevator stopped working.  Thank God, we weren’t stuck or I’m sure that I would have had a stroke.

So they can threaten me with Justin Bieber music, affectionate cats or KIA cars but I will never, ever take another cruise on Oceania.

p.s.

We found out from fellow passengers that they were charged in American funds.  Of the three organizations involved in this scam, only Oceania would charge in American funds. So it is obvious to me that Oceania is at least complicit, if not leading, this deliberate deception to defraud money from its passengers.. Disgusting and I suspect criminal.